Index of Thoughts

Tuesday, October 23, 2012

Fear Based Parenting

I was just checking my email and saw this article pop up from The Bump, a baby/parenting site associated with The Knot.  It ticked me off a little!

Cherry Healey reading a parenting book

I just don't like how our society has gotten sooooooooo fearful of being a parent!  What not to eat, what to eat, how to keep your baby safe, dos & don'ts, yatta yatta yatta........

People have been making babies and being parents for EVER!  It's a wonder that the human race has survived all these years without the internet.  All of this worry has created the annoying helicopter parent that is described so well in Bringing Up Bebe by Pamela Druckerman (read my review of this book here).  It also shows how other societies aren't acting like being a parent is some crazy new disease that everyone needs to freak out about!

What happened to asking your girlfriends, your parents, your grandparents for advice then using what works for you?  What happened to just figuring it out and not worrying so much?  Why is everyone so worried about stupid, trivial stuff?  Who cares if your 1 year old isn't potty trained yet - there is nothing wrong with that!  It doesn't matter if you have a beer, fish or OMG Vitamin C while breast feeding.  Really?!

Your child's well being doesn't need to be micro-managed!  Your child will turn out relaxed & mellow if you are chill.


That is the best parenting advice on the small, trivial stuff.  Really listen to yourself.  And pay attention to what your child needs.  NOT what you needed.  I think that is very important in parenting.  Maybe this knowledge has come after having 3 kids or maybe it's just my demeanor.  But, all this worry and fear doesn't do anyone any good - you, your child or your spouse.  What are you so scared about?  What WILL happen is that you will manifest your fears.

Think happy thoughts is my motto!  Life will be good.  And your children will be fine.


  1. I agree. I have become a victim of fear based parenting a few times and it always leads me down the wrong path. I have learned to let some of it go, be there for my kids, teach them the best that I can about the world, and just do my best. It almost seems to be an obsession with some parents. Do be doing everything "perfectly", which is not possible and will only lead to disappointment.

    1. I was guilty of this with my first child. I am so glad that I can recognize it now. It is just an awful thing to feel.


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