Has something so BIG happened to you that you aren't the same person even down to your cells?
Most people that I know have that pivotal moment. It can range from something joyful like a big trip at an impressional age or a particular time in your life or having kids or it can be something horrific like a betrayal or the death of a loved one.
You're never left the same person nor do you really want to be!
But, occasionally I catch myself grieving the "Before Me" especially when I see photos around that pivotal time in my life and remember what it was like to be her. I miss her steadfast bravery, her naivety, her sheer stubbornness, her carefree indifference to the world around her, her lackadaisical way of life, so many more freedoms.
You cannot rewrite the past. You move forward with an open heart.
I have come to respect and honor the "After Me". She is much more compassionate. She is more careful and knowledgeable of the heart, more giving without expectations, more communicative. She listens to her gut and sets boundaries. She nurtures herself first!
It's part of growing up. Suffering is a part of the journey. Experiences is also a part of the journey. I was watching a movie recently that said something along the lines of you aren't really an adult yet until you get your heart broken. It is so true. The yin and the yang of life.
Learning to also honor and embrace the dark parts because they are essential to the light.
Loving the before and after ME and rephrasing in my head to rejoice for every experience that God has given me.