I've been sitting on writing this post for several months now. I feel like the words are now on my tongue or actually on my fingers. It's the time especially after participating in an Equine Therapy class this past weekend that really empowered me & encouraged me to use my voice.
Has something happened to you and then you avoid things that remind you of the pain? It could have been from losing someone, a betrayal, a bad experience, or maybe it isn't even your memory but someone else's.
And now you find yourself changing the radio when a certain song comes on, not being able to eat a certain food, go to a particular place, buy a particular brand or thing, maybe even take a different route to get to somewhere. There are so many little things like this that I had found myself doing. And then all of a sudden it just kinda dissipated and I realized that I wasn't doing it anymore. I was owning it again.
Time does help but so does a mindset and your perception. I read somewhere once that you should wear a rubber band around your wrist and every time that you start to do something that isn't a good choice for you then you should snap that rubber band super hard on your wrist. I thought that was kinda funny and a good mental tool. But I had also been using it to avoid. Avoid places that reminded me of bad memories and songs that made me cry and even clothes that had a logo that pissed me off. It sounds a little silly when writing it. I was snapping that rubber band to not be - to have fear.
The other thing that helps is by changing how you want to look at things. I have always said that sometimes gifts come in shitty packages. It is so true. So all of a sudden I said I am taking back my power - my voice. I am stepping back into it and not allowing these silly things that I avoid be a part of my life anymore. I am buying that thing. I am driving on that road that I would detour. I am going to that place. I am listening to that song. I am wearing that shirt.
I am changing my thoughts. I am snapping that rubber band for the things I avoided and for the things that don't serve me. I have the choice and the power in my mind to choose whatever thought that I want. If I continue to do this then I will create a new neuro-pathway. I am taking back my truth. The real truth. The only truth. I am rewriting old ways and writing a new story. Old pains that aren't relevant because it is NOW.
What are things that you avoid? Why are you holding on to it? How is it serving you? Is it bringing you happiness? Is it even really the truth?