You can logically say that you don't mind being a little chunky because of x, y or z. But internally most people have a different rehearsed verse that they say which is "I am not enough". This thought is not gender bias either. Men and women all are on the same train in this area. Your mind and heart will tell you all the reasons why you should be happy even though your jeans are too tight or you have one hell of an awesome muffin top or spare tire or that you don't look like you did when you were 17 in your swimsuit.
I'm here to talk about this problem.
Even though you can rationalize why you should be happy at wherever you are, your ego will tell you that it's not good enough. I am all for being healthy but that's not the issue here. It's more than that. Because even when people lose all the weight and look stellar, they still have that internal dialogue that says "I am not enough". I wish our society saw weight differently. I wish we could tell ourselves that we are beautiful!
I am happy and I am beautiful and I don't fit in my skinny jeans anymore. I am fat and happy and healthy! I wear a size 8/10 for god's sake. Shouldn't that be good enough? Anyone who looks at me would say that I don't need to lose any weight.
Let me tell you TWO HUGE POINTS that will hopefully change your minds as well as reiterating them to myself.
1) I have been skinny two times in my life. Both times were stressful and unhappy when I look back on them. The first being when I was in high school. After I hit puberty in about the 9th grade (I was a late bloomer), I found out real quick that I couldn't eat like I did when I was a kid. I packed on some weight and developed hips and a healthy rear end. I was still about a size 8 but that was way bigger than I was before. Then there was this girl who was so mean to me in high school and her sidekick friend. We seemed to always like the same guy at the same time. She threatened to beat me up after school and was so ugly to me. We were kinda in the same group of friends. But, she would try to make them not like me. Then she started calling me "Fat Ass" to everyone. I did my best just to ignore her and not engage in her ridiculousness. But, the term fat ass just really hurt. Needless to say, I lost all that weight and my senior year I graduated being a size 6. Later, her sidekick friend did apologize to me. How many of you have a similar story of someone saying something to you as a kid? The next time I was that skinny and even skinnier was after the affair. I couldn't even eat anything and when I did, I usually threw it up because I felt so sick. I don't ever want to feel that way again. Too skinny means sick and unhappy for my body type.
|My senior year prom and 125 lbs. in 1996. Try to call me Fat Ass now!!|
|Unhappy and Stressful time in 2009. I remember these jeans were a size 6 and falling off me.|
|Andy & I stupid happy in 2003 at Lake Powell and with a little extra junk in the trunk!|
I hope those things help you figure out what caused your thinking of not being enough. Are you healthy? Are you happy? Do you constantly say that you need to lose just a little bit more?
If you answered YES to these questions, then you need to just be "fat and happy" and own it and wear it and shout out "I am beautiful".
My mom just recently did a lot of traveling over in Eastern Europe. She noticed that almost all the women over there have a little chunka lunka on them. They aren't overweight but they seem to be okay with not being obsessed with that unobtainable body image.
I have a challenge for us all today.
-Tell your ego that you will not support it's stupid belief that you are not enough. Don't listen to it's cruel words.
-Throw away your skinny jeans.
-Eat a piece of cake.
-Make Love with the light ON.
-Tell someone that you are beautiful.
-Write a post-it to yourself that says "My extra ____lbs. makes me sexy, beautiful, confident and a happy person."
-Stop yourself from saying out loud that you need to lose just a little bit more weight. The more you say it then the more you internalize it. Instead say "I feel great and plan on doing more things that help me feel fabulous."
In writing this to you all, I am also engraving this on myself.