Index of Thoughts

Sunday, March 18, 2012

Madly? In Love

This is when we were Madly in Love.  My high school graduation day.

My husband and I have been together since we were 17.  We are now both 34 with 3 beautiful little girls.  We have essentially grown up together.  We have been together for as long as we haven't been.  That is a long time.  There is soooo much to write about us & so much I have to share with everyone on the things that life has taught us.

I was just crushed having to leave him for college.  It wasn't long before he followed me though :)

But, the first thing that I want to write to you all about is what one of my girlfriends told me several years ago when we were going through some growing pains.  My girlfriend, Rain, has always been the friend that will tell me the things that I don't want to hear.  The things that are hard to hear.  I love her for that.  It is so wonderful to have a friendship like that where you never have to worry about speaking up to one another.  We both know that we will always be there for each other.  I am so blessed for all of my friends in my life.  They have truly been angels.

Wedding Day

While I was in deep, emotional conversation with her about my marriage,  I told her that we used to be Madly in Love - that I thought we still were Madly in Love?  What happened to us?  Rain said "Why would you want to be 'Madly' in Love?"  At first I got a little confused by the question.  Everyone wants to feel that way.  But then she said, "Krista, you aren't 17 anymore.  You don't want that kind of love anymore.  You want an adult love - a mature love - respect - partnership - individuality."  It really made an impression on me.  I thought about it for a while and talked about it with Andy.  We aren't 17 anymore - why am I still stuck in that immature mindset about love?

The answer for both Andy and I was "NO".  We don't want to be Madly in Love!  That is not where we are in life.  We want something better, something true, something mature and something obtainable.  I think that since we have been together since we were kids we had to learn how to really love one another.  We had to learn the hard way, but at least we did learn and at least we have a whole life time still to enjoy real love for one another.  1 Corinthians 13:4-8 is the best description of what we strive for every day. "Love is patient. Love is kind......."

What Rain told me that day has stuck in my head ever since!  I think many people may think that too.  That you are always supposed to feel Madly in Love.  But that is so False.  It is not sustainable.  It is not what you strive for in a loving relationship.  A lot of people like the falling in love part and want to hang on to that feeling to feel loved.  I think that they are missing so much.  I am so glad that I now know how to love and hope all of you learn to love like it says in the Bible.  This kind of love is called philia love.  It is said that when you do love like that then you have so much love to give that it spills over for all the world.  That is our goal!  My wish for all of you and especially my girls is to have so much love which is real happiness that your love will spill over for all the world.

My love, Andy and our beautiful life with 3 girls


  1. What a great post Krista! It is so true that love evolves, and you have to let it. It is hard to let go of that "oh my god, I have to be touching you at all times" thing, because it is fun and all consuming... but no one can live like that forever. Imagine how exhausting it would be. People have to let thier relationships mature, or they will inevitably lose that person. Glad you guys have that!

    1. You are right! But after that phase passes it can be hard to not let it build resentment in a relationship. Time to grow up & find a better way to love. So thankful for second chances. And so glad to maybe shed some love light to other people.

  2. PS: You look gorgeous on your wedding day!

  3. Just yesterday, I was reminded of Thich Nhat Hanh's teaching about "True Love"...he says we must have loving kindness, compassion, joy, and equanimity (freedom) with each other for it to be TRUE love. What a learning, Krista. My baby girl has grown to be such a wise woman and mentor for others. Keep growing and sharing your learnings. Love you!!

    1. Love you too! Second chances and growing up...
      Life is grand to us all.


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