Index of Thoughts

Thursday, August 21, 2014

Run Your Own Race... a dreamer's story

I thought that I would spend a little time writing about how I got here.  Well, to the place of Marmie Lingerie.  I have so many passions and loves and interests. It's hard to always just pick one.  I'm a dreamer and a doer.  

My first business, Ginger Magnolia Catering, was an amazing experience that I started with my best friend.  It was our shared passion of cooking together and our need to have something more than just being a mom & the household chores.  At that time life was just hard.  Andy was gone all the time working so far away, we had marital problems, and we were in a new town.  I just felt like I needed something/someone to give me that zest of life that I had been missing.  So a beautiful business and friendship bloomed.  I loved it and I will always, always have a passion for food.  One day I know that I will do something in this field again.  Writing a cookbook or several has always been on my bucket list.  After my partner moved away and the business was just mine, that zest diminished.  Then adding on top of that a third pregnancy, repeatedly losing my commissary kitchen due to the restaurants going out of business and then not having a staff since I couldn't provide full time work - just kept me in a feeling of extreme overwhelm.  Fortunately, my husband's business was doing well so he carefully suggested that I just be mom for a while.  It felt like such a relief to be given permission to fail.  Even though it wasn't really a failure because my business was doing so amazing but the timing was off for me.  It was just too difficult to do it all.

Mehana & I having more fun than working

During that time, I had also started sewing purses and had a second full-time job on top of raising a young family.  I loved loved creating Marmie Bags.  It was another outlet and direction for my creativity.  I had so many big dreams with this business.  I had hoped to transition from catering which had so many conflicts that I couldn't control to making bags and creating a brand and global business.  But after two years of working my tail off, it ended up being a really expensive & time consuming hobby.  I had to make some decisions.  I really enjoyed creating and connecting but I would have to manufacture thousands of bags to keep costs low and to really see any kind of profit.  The math just didn't make it possible to move forward plus the amount of time that it took to sew each purse completely consumed my days.  Therefore, I phased out the purses.  That also felt like another failure but I had to evaluate what my time was worth to me and to my family and especially after two years of not seeing any real profit or promise of a future profit.  My intention also with this business was to be big enough to make a difference.  To use the brand of Marmie to create a project that could make an impact on people.

My first Marmie bags photo shoot

What I found during this time was Writing!  I just loved it.  I just kept writing and writing which then led me to really examine myself.  What was my life's purpose?  Why am I here?  What am I supposed to be doing and for the sake of what?

My life's purpose is to help people.  To show them how wonderful they all are.  To love them and tell them that sometimes life is just too hard but that it's worth it all. That the darkness is just as important as the light.  To show them that they matter.  To also show myself that I matter.  I want to help change the world.  I want to empower women.  I want them to love themselves.  

It's a wonderful feeling to know what your life's purpose is.  Do you know yours?  Write it down.  Read it out loud.  

So, in this journey of mine I have actually found way more than I thought that I had lost.  Once you know the why, the path to get there just presents itself.  And if that road becomes closed then just pick a new one.  There are so many different ways that I can make a difference and fulfill my life's purpose.

Marmie Lingerie has been a business idea that I've had for years.  But for some reason I kept trying to get different friends to do it.  Again, I think timing is everything.  I think that at that time I didn't know my purpose and I was just trying to find that zest that I talked about earlier.  I also was lacking in a little confidence in myself.  Here's a little secret about me:  I am terrified of public speaking!  So, the thought of formally getting up before a crowd leaves me so anxious and nervous.  Plus, I am a TERRBILE, AWFUL BLUSHER.  But through Three Graces (community outreach program for women that I started with 2 other ladies), I have slowly been conquering that fear.  I'm still afraid though and am still a bad blusher but I'm not going to let that fear stop me.

So by taking the time to withdraw and pull in and work on myself, my writing (blog) and my family.  It opened up some space and time to let the light in.  I saw this quote above when I was searching on my Pinterest for inspirational quotes using the word "Courage".  I am devoting myself to the idea of helping and empowering women.  This is my dream! And while looking for encouraging words I stumbled across this phrase that I had never heard before and now I see it everywhere.  


This is such a great motto. Life is so much like a marathon.  Have you ever done any long distance running?  You have to get over that initial hump and chatter in your head that says I can't do it.  And then it's like you could run forever.  You get this steady pace and there isn't anyone else running with you.  It's weird but I just can't run next to anyone even when I've tried.  It's not a competition with anyone.  It's just you and the road.  The only competition is you and your thoughts.  I hope all the runners make it and if one falls you stop and help them up.  It's the best feeling when you get to the finish line.  

I have lots of metaphors for my life.  I'm adding this one too.  I think I'll even put a post it of it on my bathroom mirror.  So, you see when you get real clear with your intentions and your perception of reality then you'll see that there's nothing to worry about.  I trust in the unfolding of time and what the Universe and God will bring to me.  I have my Three Graces group that is already fulfilling my mission and my purpose.  It is almost a year of our group and is really blooming! I started back in February trying to make Marmie Lingerie happen and just wasn't getting anywhere with making contact with the Paris Lingerie company.  I just stopped pushing and focused back on my family and moving.  And then once I got all settled in and the timing was just right - all of a sudden the representatives starting emailing me back.  It really is so cool how it happens that way.   

I am putting it out there that after working regionally with Marmie Lingerie and impacting and touching the lives of lots of women that I could spread the love further and further.  Maybe one day being a global brand and sending my message everywhere.  Teaching women to truly love themselves.  I want them all to be able to say and believe "I am beautiful. I am love.  I am the light."  And even maybe design and create my own line of lingerie one day.

Dream BIG.  Trust in Yourself.  Be Clear of Your Intentions. Run Your Own Race.

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